happiness and pleasure

This week, our class had a guest speaker who presented his theory on the confusion between Happiness and Pleasure. It's interesting to think about just how many things that we think make us happy perhaps only give us pleasure. Over the past few days I've become conscious of how often I use the word "happy" to describe the way I feel about things like new clothes, chocolate, and coffee. I include these in my life as often as possible because I enjoy they way they make me feel, so while I wouldn't necessarily be a less happy person if I skipped dessert or cancelled shopping plans, I would definitely miss the pleasure derived from the experiences. At what point does consumption become excessive? At what point is it an expression of an addiction to pleasure?

If we think of "addiction" without its most extreme connotations of wasted lives and drug highs, we can define it as a compulsion to pursue pleasure. And there are so many little pleasures - instances of positive reinforcement - that collectively impact everyday life. The practice of tipping in the service industry is one example. My hair stylist may perform the same quality cut and blow-dry over and over, but if I tip him more than usual at a particular visit he'll wonder (perhaps subconsciously) what it was he did to merit the extra reward. He'll try to replicate that service the next time because the cash bonus for making me feel beautiful is a pleasure to him.

The practice of logging on to facebook is another example. I would only need to check this social utility every few days in order to keep track of my acquaintances' goings-on, but I find myself on the site multiple times per day. Why? The reward of doing so is unpredictable. Maybe someone will have written on my wall. Maybe someone will have sent me a private message. Maybe someone else will have invited me to join a group or attend an event. The maybes make it worthwhile. Finding nothing since the last logon is like a scratch-and-win lottery ticket that reads, try again next time. Finding something is an affirmation that YES, my friends use facebook during the day and night as I do, and YES, they care enough to direct thoughts/feelings/typing energies toward me. I think that my generation has made facebook a success because we are addicted to the pleasure of knowing that we matter to others. That people would notice if we suddenly vanished to a deserted island with no internet connection.

When I began this entry I didn't plan to segue from the issue of overconsumption to a suggestion about the psychological need for social networking, but I do think the link is valid. If the developed world over-consumes resources and rejects frugality because happiness is confused with the pleasure of driving SUVs/eating meat daily/taking on credit card debt to "keep up with the Joneses"/etc, are we also confusing connection over the internet with real connection to each other? Has the pleasure of counting our "friends" trumped developing those friendships face-to-face?